MAPLEWOOD — This press has been informed that the territorial dispute between a local werewolf pack and the Bloodmuzzle pack came to a head last month, when their respective leaders met in what was described by witnesses as “tense negotiations.” We are told the conflict concerned borders and matters of great significance to the lycanthropic community.
What this reporter observed was two people with a great deal of unresolved sexual tension conducting what can only be described as the world’s most passive-aggressive reunion she has ever witnessed. The details of the territorial dispute escape me, largely because the territorial dispute was not the point. This author has attended enough post-breakup confrontations to recognize one on sight, and of the many grievances aired between these two pack leaders, “borders” was not among them.
Adding a scandalous wrinkle to the proceedings was the involvement of Finn who, through circumstances I am still piecing together, was apparently tasked with ensuring one of the parties did not survive to attend the meeting. He failed; whether by interference, miscalculation, or sheer chaos, both pack leaders arrived very much alive and Finn found himself standing in the middle of a relationship spat without a single qualified marriage counselor in sight. We are choosing, charitably, to give him partial credit for how it ended: his first words once the dust settled were “Since I’ve helped you, can I ask for a favor?”
We have to respect the confidence, Finn, but we do recommend not asking for favors from someone capable of having your intestines for a candlelit dinner.
The evening ultimately concluded with the Bloodmuzzle pack leader dead at the hands of an attending adventurer, and the local pack leader departing after swearing on Titus’ sword that her pack does not hunt humans. Whether this constitutes a resolution is, I suppose, a matter of perspective. One imagines the surviving leader had feelings about this that had nothing to do with territorial independence.